🌿 Rachel's Reflections: Why We Keep Putting Ourselves Last

Rachel Filewood
Jul 15
2 min read

This week I've noticed something.

Whether I'm talking to friends over coffee, coaching clients, or women I meet through everyday conversations, the same pattern keeps appearing.

They know how to care for everyone else.

But somewhere along the way...

they've quietly disappeared from their own list.

Work meetings go in the diary.

School events go in the diary.

Hospital appointments.

Hair appointments.

Coffee with friends.

Children's activities.

Everything has its place.

Except them.

At first, it sounds like a time problem.

"I just don't have time."

But the more I listen, the more I wonder if that's only part of the story.

Perhaps it isn't just a lack of time.

Perhaps it's a lack of energy.

Because when we spend day after day giving to everyone around us without stopping to replenish ourselves, eventually we begin running on empty.

And when we're running on empty, we don't make the choices we'd like to make.

We reach for whatever's quickest.

We cancel the walk.

We skip lunch.

We promise ourselves we'll start again tomorrow.

Not because we don't care.

But because we've ran out of energy and are tired.

The thing about running on empty is that it creeps up on us.

We tell ourselves we're coping.

Until one day we find ourselves snapping at someone we love.

Feeling resentful.

Crying over something small.

Or simply wondering...

"When did I stop feeling like me?"

I don't believe that's because we're failing.

I think it's because we've been trying to pour from an empty cup for far too long.

One of the things I love most about coaching is that it gives women permission to pause.

Not to become selfish.

Not to do more.

Simply to reconnect with themselves.

To remember what matters.

To ask,

"What do I need right now?"

Sometimes that answer isn't another meal plan.

Sometimes it isn't another supplement.

Sometimes it's simply creating enough space to breathe, think and choose differently.

And from that space...

Small changes become possible.

When we begin looking after ourselves, something else happens too.

We have more energy to prepare nourishing meals.

We find it easier to build a balanced plate.

We move our bodies because it feels good, not because we have to.

Those small acts of self-care don't just change our health.

They change how we show up for everyone else.